Tips & Sunnahs For Success...

Here are some Tips & Sunnahs to Practice for Success…

Especially for husbands with goals to Nurture Happy Wives…

No one ever thinks about the characteristics of a Muslim husband.

It is always what a wife should do for the husband...and the list never ends; home management, tutoring, ferrying the kids, caring, cooking, cleaning, washing, working even; you name it, she's doing it, so what about the brothers?

Our beloved Nabi SAW was not EVER lazy, so why the men of this ummah?

It is quite interesting, so I thought I'd share it with you!!! 

 

What a Muslim husband should be like...

Ø       Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pyjamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him,

she also wants her husband to dress up for her too.Remember that Nabi (SAW) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

Ø       Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

 

Ø       Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband

- until she does something to 'bug' him.

Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

Ø       If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment!

This is one of the ways Nabi (SAW) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

Ø       Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often.

Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah.

Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling.

Remember also those Ahadith when Nabi (SAW) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salaah, even when he was fasting.

 

Ø       Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare before your return. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her! Nabi (SAW) use to help his wives with the housework, he mended his own clothes, and patched his own footwear. Never forget –what your wife does for you without any assistance is actually out of her goodness, much of the tasks today's wife does is actually a favour to you! Acknowledge it. Be grateful.

 

Ø       Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life..

Ø       Don't belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Nabi (SAW) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah (R.A) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

Ø       Be humorous, play games with your wife, and surprise her once in a while with gifts.

Nabi (SAW) encouraged the giving of gifts.. Look at how would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert.

When was the last time we did something like that?

 

Ø       Don't ever refer to your wife in the third person, & never in a negative or mocking manner, even if you are right. Remember she is the mother of your children. She deserves their respect & honour more than anyone else in the world. Don't promote & advertise yourself as better than her. Let Allah be the judge. Protect her dignity.

 

Woman was not made from man's head to be superior over,

Nor his feet to be trampled on.

She emerged from his side to walk next to,

from under the arm to be protected,

& from near the heart to be loved & valued…

 

Ø       Don't feel intimidated by your woman's strengths or aptitude, admire her, & treat her as an equal as in the eyes of Allah. Encourage her, support her, & be there for her. Allah has not granted superiority of one over the other, but rather has assigned each different tasks according to the uniqueness of His male and female creation. Nabi (SAW) has said that if he would have commanded bowing to any other aside from Allah, it would have been the wife to the husband. This is not a matter to inflate your ego, but to underline how much you need to do for her so as to have earned this status. Remember your attitude towards her would determine the depth of her love for you, her appreciation, and the warmth of her behaviour towards you.                                                        

Ø       Don't be a "ruler". Be a mediator; compassionate, loving, understanding, compromising.                                          This is what wins a woman's heart, nothing more, nothing less…

Hear her cries for acceptance, don't complicate matters for her, make things easier…

Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger (SAW): 'The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.' Try to be the best!

 

Ø       Every time you see your wife don't order her to do something, Neither complain about anything.

She'll begin to avoid you and your company like the plague! Stop finding faults with her all the time, she'll lose respect for you. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Use hikmah (tact), be diplomatic. and be considerate. Do things to develop her love for you and strengthen the bond.

 

Ø      NEVER EVER COMPARE YOUR WIFE TO YOUR MOTHER, SISTER, SISTER-IN-LAW, OR ANY FEMALE, whose supposedly "better" at something than she is. Don't praise other women so as to make her feel as if she "doesn't-cut-the- cloth". This spells disaster for her self-confidence, and stunts love between spouses. She'll begin to feel inferior, and in her desire to live up to your expectations, she'll soon feel taken for granted, because you'd never recognise her attempts, but always find something else that's not right or needs to be bettered. Your wife will soon begin to despise you, she'd feel like your servant, a wall-fly, because it's always "so hard to please you" and you're "never satisfied"! So please be cognisant of this habit!

 

Ø      In conclusion: Everyone has weaknesses, find agreeable ways of working around them together. Never forget to make Dua to Allah - ta'ala to make your marriage successful.

And Allah ta'ala knows best!!

NOW BE BRAVE AND SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR MALE FRIENDS AND TO THE FEMALES, SO THAT THEY CAN START TRAINING THEIR SONS….!!!

 

May Allah Be With You:

Reg  ards

                                    Rem emb er Me In UR Pray ers

L U C K I I A. D

 

 

 

 

 

and The Gospel of Barnabas
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A Journey towards Enlightenment

Islam - A Journey towards Enlightenment By Nasim Hassan Delaware, USA   Currently Islam and Muslims are being discussed in negative terms in the Western media. The debate about Islam, Taliban, Sharia and clash of civilizations has forced me to rethink about Islam and what it means to me. Islam to me is an inner journey that starts with a simple declaration: "There is no God but Allah and Mohammed (pbuh) is the messenger of Allah". This declaration does not make a person Muslim without following the commandments of the Almighty in the Holy Qur'an as demonstrated by the example of Mohammed (pbuh) by his actions in his life.   The life of the prophet provides a criterion to judge a human being, a nation or a society. I have highlighted the basic characteristics that Muslims have to develop from the life of the prophet Mohammed (pbuh). From my perspective, these are universal values for all mankind and not limited to Muslims. Here are the milestones for this journey.   Truth and Honesty Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) was known as truthful and honest (Sadiq and Amin) long before he received divine revelation.   In his first call the prophet (pbuh) gathered people of Mecca and asked them what they thought of him. They unanimously told him that he had always been truthful and honest. Then he asked them, "Would you believe if I told you that there is an invading army coming from behind the hill?" They again told him that they will certainly believe him because he had never lied to them. The criteria for being a Muslim are truth and honesty. Without arriving at this station in life, the onward journey cannot continue.   Human Equality and Rights This is the area where Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) received maximum opposition. He started with the downtrodden, poor people and slaves and made them equal as brothers. The early converts were the persecuted poor people. Gradually, the conversion expanded to influential people like Omar. The Prophet started his message with human equality giving people of all colors and origins equal rights and ended with the same message in his last sermon in Mecca. He said:   "All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves"   This is perhaps the most difficult thing to do even in the 21 st century. We can look at the contemporary Muslim world and judge for ourselves how far we are from this station. Look deeply and we find the racial, ethnic, tribal and religious sense of superiority.   This tenet of Islam was followed by Sufi Saints in South Asia. In the dargahs, they started providing food to people on equal basis. The people in India had never seen a thing like it in their lives. In a caste ridden society of India of the 10 th century low caste people could not conceive or enjoy such equality. This tradition still continues all over South Asia at the dargahs of Sufi saints.   Perseverance for Islam Immediately after the prophet (pbuh) started spreading the word of Islam, he was persecuted in Mecca. After seeing the gradual progress of Islam, the people of Mecca insulted him, physically abused him and later on offered him all the worldly things. He categorically told them that even if they gave the sun and moon in his hands he would not stop preaching the message..   This lesson was followed by many people at different times in the history of the Muslim World. Sufi Saints declined to go to the court of the kings and always persevered in their message.   Equal Justice Right from the beginning, the message of Islam emphasized equality and justice for all people. The prophet (pbuh) said: "If my daughter Fatima commits a crime, she will be punished exactly in the same manner like other people"   This foundation led Omar establish justice far and wide in the realm of the Muslim World. In fact this attitude was largely responsible for the spread of Islam. As long as the Muslims followed this principle, they continued to succeed in the expansion of Muslim rule. The decline started with inequality and denial of justice or lack of it.   Simplicity in Living The Prophet (PBUH) lived a life of simplicity and poverty when he was a religious leader and the head of a state. He mended his own shoes and wore coarse garments, milked goats, swept the hearth, kindled the fire and attended to the other menial offices of the family. The community of Medina grew wealthy while he slept on a palm mat. His food consisted of dates and water. His family would go hungry many successive nights because they could not get anything to eat in the evening. There are not many examples of austere living in the history of mankind.   Compare his life with the lifestyle of current leaders of Muslim countries and we find how far the Muslims have strayed away from the path chosen by the prophet (pbuh).   His example was followed by Sufi Saints like Nizum Din Aulia in India. Every day a lot of money was donated to the Sufi Saints. By the end of the day, all money was given in charity to widows, poor and the needy people. The Aulia Karam kept money only for food that was also used for feeding the hungry people.   Mercy and Compassion This is the defining characteristic of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh). Throughout his life, he always showed mercy even when people were cruel to him. He forgave his mortal enemies who fought him in war and planned his assassination. The people who use violence in the name of Islam should carefully study the example of Mohammed (pbuh), if they profess to be Muslims.   I have not read anything in the history of mankind like the conquest of Mecca. Based on their tribal history, the people of Mecca expected slaughter. In the modern world every conquest or revolution has ended with massive bloodshed and complete enslavement of the vanquished.. Instead the Prophet (PBUH) declared:   "O Quraish, what do you think that I am about to do with you?" They replied, "Good. You are a noble brother, son of a noble brother." The Prophet forgave them all saying: "I will treat you as Prophet Yousuf (Joseph) treated his brothers. There is no reproach against you. Go to your homes, and you are all free."   This is in fact the essence of Islam. At a later period in history, Salahud Din Ayubi also showed respect to Christians and Jews at the end of crusades.   Conclusion So before anyone professes to be a Muslim he or she must look towards the destination. Not everyone is expected to reach enlightenment at the end of this journey. However, it is imperative that we understand the spirit behind the Islamic rituals. These rituals help in the preparation of this journey but they are not the ultimate goal. If the rituals do not inspire people to do good deeds (Amle Saleh) then they are like a body without a soul.   Every individual, society or nation that professes to be Islamic must look at the criterion established by the example of Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) and the Holy Qur'an. The essence of Islam is service to humanity in every possible way. I like to close by quoting Sufi saint Khawaja Moeenud Din Chishti who said: "A person should develop generosity like a river, kindness like a sun and humility like earth." Hasni Essa Islam for Pluralism

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A Story Worth Reading

Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

FYI

Wa salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh 

Aadil

Ibn Mas'ûd (ra) said: Indeed, the believer sees his sins as if he was standing at the foot of a mountain fearing that it will fall upon him and the sinner sees his sins like a fly which passes by his nose so he tries to remove it by waving his hand around. [Bukhârî]

Alî (ra) said: No trial has descended except due to a sin and it (the trial) is not repelled except by repentance.

A Story Worth Reading . Since last night my young son has been unwell. When I got back from Work this evening I decided to take him to hospital despite my exhaustion. There were many waiting; perhaps we will be delayed by more than an hour. I took my number and sat down in the waiting room. There were many faces, young and old, but all silent. Some brothers made use of the many booklets available in the waiting room. Some of those waiting had their eyes closed, while others were looking around. Most were bored. Once in a while the long silence was broken by a nurse calling out a number. Happiness appears on the one whose turn it is, and he gets up quickly; then silence returns. A young man grabbed my attention. He was reading a pocket-sized Qur`an continuously; not raising his head even once. At first I did not think much about him. However, after one hour of waiting my casual glances turned into a deep reflection about his lifestyle and how he utilizes his time.  One hour of life wasted! Instead of making benefit of that hour, it was just a boring wait. Then the call for prayer was made. We went to prayer in the hospital's Masjid. I tried to pray close to the man who was reading the Qur'an earlier in the waiting room. After the prayer I walked with him. I informed him of how impressed I was of him and how he tries to benefit from his time. He told me that most of our time is wasted without any benefit. These are days that go from our lives without being conscious of them or regretting their waste. He said that he started carrying the pocket-sized Qur`an around when a friend encouraged him to make full use of his time. He told me that in the time other people waste he gets to read much more of the Qur`an than he gets to read either at home or in the masjid. Moreover, besides the reward of reading the Qur`an, this habit saves him from boredom and stress. He added that he has now been waiting for one and a half hours. Then he asked, when will you find one and a half hours to read the Qur`an? I reflected; How much time do we waste? How many moments of our lives pass by, and yet we do not account for how they passed by? Indeed, how many months pass by and we do not read the Qur`an? I came to respect my companion, and I discovered that I am to stand for account and that time is not in my hand; so what am I waiting for? My thoughts were interrupted by the nurse calling out my number; I went to the doctor. But I want to achieve something now. After I left the hospital I quickly went to the bookshop and bought a pocket-sized Qur`an. I decided to be mindful of how I spend the time. If this information is beneficial to you, then please do forward it to your friends and relatives. Our Prophet (SAW) said; 'Whoever guides or directs to good, then he gets the same amount of blessing (reward) as the one who does it' The Prophet (SAW) also said 'Pass on knowledge from me even if it is only one verse'

Words of Wisdom from the Qur'an

Words of Wisdom from the Qur'an 1. Respect and honour all human beings irrespective of their religion, color, race, sex, language, status, property, birth, profession/job and so on [17/70] 2. Talk straight, to the point, without any ambiguity or deception [33/70] 3. Choose best words to speak and say them in the best possible way [17/53, 2/83] 4. Do not shout. Speak politely keeping your voice low. [31/19] 5. Always speak the truth. Shun words that are deceitful and ostentatious [22/30] 6. Do not confound truth with falsehood [2/42] 7. Say with your mouth what is in your heart [3/167] 8. Speak in a civilized manner in a language that is recognised by the society and is commonly used [4/5] 9. When you voice an opinion, be just, even if it is against a relative [6/152] 10. Do not be a bragging boaster [31/18] 11. Do not talk, listen or do anything vain [23/3, 28/55] 12. Do not participate in any paltry. If you pass near a futile play, then pass by with dignity [25/72] 13. Do not verge upon any immodesty or lewdness whether surreptitious or overt [6/151]. 14. If, unintentionally, any misconduct occurs by you, then correct yourself expeditiously [3/134]. 15. Do not be contemptuous or arrogant with people [31/18] 16. Do not walk haughtily or with conceit [17/37, 31/18] 17. Be moderate in thy pace [31/19] 18. Walk with humility and sedateness [25/63] 19. Keep your gazes lowered devoid of any lecherous leers and salacious stares [24/30-31, 40/19]. 20. If you do not have complete knowledge about anything, better keep your mouth shut. You might think that speaking about something without full knowledge is a trivial matter. But it might have grave consequences [24/15-16] 21. When you hear something malicious about someone, keep a favorable view about him/her until you attain full knowledge about the matter. Consider others innocent until they are proven guilty with solid and truthful evidence [24/12-13] 22. Ascertain the truth of any news, lest you smite someone in ignorance and afterwards repent of what you did [49/6] 23. Do not follow blindly any information of which you have no direct knowledge. (Using your faculties of perception and conception) you must verify it for yourself. In the Court of your Lord, you will be held accountable for your hearing, sight, and the faculty of reasoning [17/36]. 24. Never think that you have reached the final stage of knowledge and nobody knows more than yourself. Remember! Above everyone endowed with knowledge is another endowed with more knowledge [12/76]. Even the Prophet [p.b.u.h] was asked to keep praying, "O My sustainer! Advance me in knowledge." [20:114] 25. The believers are but a single Brotherhood. Live like members of one family, brothers and sisters unto one another [49/10]. 26. Do not make mockery of others or ridicule others [49/11] 27. Do not defame others [49/11] 28. Do not insult others by nicknames [49/11] 29. Avoid suspicion and guesswork. Suspicion and guesswork might deplete your communal energy [49/12] 30. Spy not upon one another [49/12] 31. Do not backbite one another [49/12] 32. When you meet each other, offer good wishes and blessings for safety. One who conveys to you a message of safety and security and also when a courteous greeting is offered to you, meet it with a greeting still more courteous or (at least) of equal courtesy [4/86] 33. When you enter your own home or the home of somebody else, compliment the inmates [24/61] 34. Do not enter houses other than your own until you have sought permission; and then greet the inmates and wish them a life of blessing, purity and pleasure [24/27] 35. Treat kindly " Your parents " Relatives " The orphans " And those who have been left alone in the society [4/36] 36. Take care of " The needy, " The disabled " Those whose hard earned income is insufficient to meet their needs " And those whose businesses have stalled " And those who have lost their jobs. [4/36] 37. Treat kindly " Your related neighbours, and unrelated neighbours " Companions by your side in public gatherings, or public transportation. [4/36] 38. Be generous to the needy wayfarer, the homeless son of the street, and the one who reaches you in a destitute condition [4/36] 39. Be nice to people who work under your care. [4/36] 40. Do not follow up what you have given to others to afflict them with reminders of your generosity [2/262]. 41. Do not expect a return for your good behaviour, not even thanks [76/9] 42. Cooperate with one another in good deeds and do not cooperate with others in evil and bad matters [5/2] 43. Do not try to impress people on account of self-proclaimed virtues [53/32] 44. You should enjoin right conduct on others but mend your own ways first. Actions speak louder than words. You must first practice good deeds yourself, then preach [2/44] 45. Correct yourself and your families first [before trying to correct others] [66/6] 46. Pardon gracefully if anyone among you who commits a bad deed out of ignorance, and then repents and amends [6/54, 3/134] 47. Divert and sublimate your anger and potentially virulent emotions to creative energy, and become a source of tranquility and comfort to people [3/134] 48. Call people to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful exhortation. Reason with them most decently [16/125] 49. Leave to themselves those who do not give any importance to the Divine code and have adopted and consider it as mere play and amusement [6/70] 50. Sit not in the company of those who ridicule Divine Law unless they engage in some other conversation [4/140] 51. Do not be jealous of those who are blessed [4/54] 52. In your collective life, make rooms for others [58/11] 53. When invited to dine, Go at the appointed time. Do not arrive too early to wait for the preparation of meal or linger after eating to engage in bootless babble. Such things may cause inconvenience to the host [33/53] 54. Eat and drink [what is lawful] in moderation [7/31]. 55. Do not squander your wealth senselessly [17/26] 56. Fulfil your promises and commitments [17/34] 57. Keep yourself clean, pure [9/108, 4/43, 5/6]. 58. Dress-up in agreeable attire and adorn yourself with exquisite character from inside out [7/26] 59. Seek your provision only by fair endeavour [29/17, 2/188] 60. Do not devour the wealth and property of others unjustly, nor bribe the officials or the judges to deprive others of their possessions [2/188]

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IMPORTANCE OF EARLY MARRIAGE IN ISLAM

The institution of marriage has been given tremendous importance in Islam. Generally, in the terms of jurisprudence it is highly recommended, but in many cases due to extraordinary circumstances, it becomes obligatory and a religious duty. For instance, marriage becoming obligatory when there is a chance of adultery or any other similar sin.

The Holy Prophet (SAW) said, "The best people of my Umma are those who get married and have chosen their wives and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors." (Mustadrakul Wasail by Muhaddith Noori, Vol 2, Pg 531).

As one matures physically, sexual desires develop in the individual and gradually both girls and boys start getting attracted to each other, which slowly develops into some sort of psychological pressure. This natural and undirected emotion gradually seeks solace in whatever form possible. Unfortunately, more often than not, it results in the youngsters deviating from the right path and indulging in some unwanted and undesired habits. Before becoming victims of ill-directed lust, it is better for them to get married and settle down. Therefore, the leaders of Islam have advised their followers to follow this most important Sunnah. As the Holy Prophet (SAW) states:
"O youths, whosoever among you can marry, he should do so because marriage protects your eyes (from indulging in sin by looking lustfully at others in privacy." (Makaarimul Akhlaq).
Imam Sadiq (AS) narrates that one day the Holy Prophet (SAW) went on the pulpit and said, "O people, Jibraeel has brought unto me a divine command stating that girls are like fruits from a tree. If they are not plucked in time then they get rotten by the rays of the sun and a slight blow of the wind will result in their falling down from the tree. Similarly, when girls attain maturity, then like other women they develop emotions related to sex and there is no cure for it except her husband. If they are not married, prevention of character corruption becomes a remote possibility because after all they are human beings and no human is free from vice." (Furoo-e-Kafi, Vol 5, Pg 337).

In yet another tradition from Mustadrakul Wasail it is narrated that "When a youngster marries early in his youth, Shaitaan cries out of desperation and says, Alas! This person has protected one third of his religion, now he will protect the remaining two thirds also."
Imam Sadiq (as) narrates from the Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) that he said, "Those believers who marry, protect half of their religion from danger." In yet another tradition, Imam Sadiq (as) says, "Two Rak’as of a married person is better than seventy Rak’as of an unmarried one." (Wasailush Shia, Vol 5, Pg 1)

The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) once said, "Whoever marries, protects half of his religion, then for the remaining half he must only fear God." (La'alil Akhbar).
The sixth Imam, Imam Sadiq (as) says, "A sleeping married man is better than a fasting unmarried man." (La'alil Akhbar).
The Messenger of Islam (S.A.W.) said, "Do not marry a woman for the following four reasons: Wealth, beauty, ancestry and lust. It is obligatory upon you to marry a woman on account of her religion." (Jaame ul Akhbar).

In yet another tradition, the Messenger of Islam (S.A.W.) has prohibited his followers from marrying a beautiful woman from a disgraceful background. (Bihar ul Anwar, Vol 23, Pg 54).

To get a good, modest and chaste spouse is among the good fortunes of a person according to the leaders of Islam and is also considered as one of the sources by which the religion of a person can be protected. They have conveyed this message quite often that the worship of a married person is much more significant and important before Allah than that of a bachelor or a spinster.
The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) says: "Among the good fortunes of a man is to have a good wife." (Furoo-e-Kafi, Vol. 5, Pg. 327).